Transcript of pure Assholery

Girl: 

I write, and I pioneer polyamory in young people. I paint, I draw. I take waay too long of baths. I read and collect too many things. I'm amazing, and totally full of myself especially when it's very impolite to be so.

Stranger: 

Haha sounds like my kind of girl but what is polywhatever????

Girl:

I'm a total slut.

It means carrying on multiple relationships simultaneously, but they all know about each other, that's what makes me different from a cheater. I don't sleep around though. It's hard to explain, I just fall in love all over the place.

Stranger:

Wow...ok...uhhh..."To each his own"

Girl:

Not everyone agrees with me. I'm not asking for approval. Just don't judge me, be nice to me. So yeah, to each his own.

Stranger:

Hey I don't knock it till I try it....besides you should know I don't want any relationship with anyone right now anyways just friends maybe a lil lovin is nice

Girl:

I have too much on my plate as it is ha, but I love getting to know people which is why I gave you my number

Stranger:

Well then lets get to know each other...but if we go out one night I don't share, you should know....

Girl:

It's cool, I totally understand. I just like to be upfront about it so I'm never being accused of lying or sneaking around. I'm still amazing though. so yeah befriend me haha

Stranger:

Ok cause I'm awesome so you should feel lucky to of met me and does the word fuck buddy offend you??

Girl:

it's doesn't at all

Stranger: 

So we should try and hang out maybe wednesday...? 

Girl:

I work late but I'm down if you doing mind being up late

Stranger:

Not at all I work Wednesday night at my aunts restaurant till 9. I help serve. It's easy just smile and have fun. I used to bartend.

Girl:

I've always wanted to bartend

Stranger: 

Yeah I also have my barbers license....I told you I'm something of a big deal...hahahaha

Girl:

Awesome. Nothing I dig more than a huge ego :] jk

Stranger:

okok so why are we still texting do you live with your parents and are not supposed  to be on the phone? cause everyone should get free minutes around this time....

Girl:

I'm doing homework. I can't talk and do homework at the same time. I can text though. And no, I don't live with my rents. I live with my boyfriend.

Stranger:

For Real????

Girl:

For real. I'm complicated but really fucking honest. Sorry if it bothers you.

Stranger:

Ya that's where you lost me..so is complicated and crazy in the same guidelines for you and what's this bf do? Bother me? No. I was just trying to fuck but that puts a roadblock in the way...hmmmm

Girl:

I'm engaged, in an open relationship. I see other people. I have another guy I see on a regular basis, and I date a few others but they tend not to last because I don't have time to spare for guys who can't wrap their mind around the concept or just bring me bullshit. but i'm a brilliant friend. and I never cut those ties loose. I wasn't raised to be monogamous, so this is normal for me. People my age who only see one person and decide they only want to be with that one person for the rest of their lives, is foreign to me and something i can't understand. but i try not to place blame on them for being different. I just don't get it.

and you told me you won't share. you can't fuck me if you can't share. besides i only sleep with guys who'll invest in a relationship and you said it's not what you're looking for which is totally cool. I need more friends than fuck buddies.

Stranger:

Well good luck with that....not sure where to go from here....but yeah

Girl:

were you only talking to me because you wanted to sleep with me?

Stranger:

well if i said no that would be a lie and i don't believe in lies or breaking promises but i'm an awesome guy just maybe a few bad habits....but don't judge me on those

Girl:

I'm not. Everyone's that guy. I've been that guy. Sorry to disappoint though, its not upsetting to me...flattering even because I'm such the fucking optimist. I don't judge, I'm in no position to.

Stranger: 

SO you really wouldn't fuck me hmmm ouch....shot through the heart and you're to blame darling you give love....a bad name...hahahahaha

Girl: 

I try not to involve myself with people who aren't looking for a relationship. I have a hard time doing sex with no strings. which makes me such a girl. Its not anything against you though. I'm just too needy.

Stranger:

I'm not worried if i need companionship i'll go down town....i was just really curious about your whole ordeal

Girl:

Did I satisfy your curiosity?

Stranger:

Satisfy??? No. Intrige possilbly....arouse...more soo.....

Girl:

damn

Stranger:

So tell me you have some sexy pics you want to send me...or is that a no no on your checklist too???

Girl:

That's a no no for anybody.  I really don't have any sexy pics on my phone. Not for boyfriends, swings, or strangers. I just don't take them

Stranger:

Yawn...well since we can't fuck or send pics...it means being friends kinda sucks...is that too blunt?

Girl:

Nah just you being honest. Sorry again for not being that type of girl. Better to find out now rather than later no? Thanks for the honesty. Saves time.

Stranger:

True true.

*Like he had a chance with me.

**Not sure what's worse, the guy who's straight up with being an asshole or the guy who charades in front of me all night pretending not to be this guy.

***This helped me feel better about the guy who took me out last week and hasn't been too responsive since. It's not me, it's them.